Valentines Day and Other Fake Holidays (by Jon)

So it's getting close to that time of year again. February 15th is BREAK UP DAY! It's not really a thing, but it should be. Especially in Korea, a lot of weight is put on these couple-oriented non-holidays. Guys aren't the ones putting the weight on, but they ARE the ones who tend to carry it in this country, much like the designer bags their girlfriends and wives simply MUST have.

If you have a Korean girlfriend, be warned: Judgement day is coming. Like, repeatedly. Here are some of the days that Koreans have decided to make in the wake of Valentine's Day's cultural assertion.

Valentine's Day : She gives YOU chocolates... or not... but even though it's her turn, do something nice, or else!

White Day :14^th of March-guys give candies to that special someone…

Black Day : 14^th of April-You got nothing, you eat black noodles (Jjajangmyeon at Chinese restaurant). Suck it up, princess.

Rose Day : 14^th of May-Give her roses. Maybe, I've never done this one

Confession Day-17^th of September-The day that girls want to hear boys confess their love. If you start to date, your 100^th anniversary will be on Christmas. So romantic... (Psst! That's merely a Date Day too, so don't expect a tree and a turkey that day; you're on a leash)

Ppaeppaero Day-11^th of November-Ppaeppaero is snack name. It’s looks like “1” so blah blah blah... it's mostly for kids, but that's no reason to leave her hanging.

100 DAYS : I cannot stress this one enough. Make it big, make it flashy, get a great gift, have a great meal. If you only spend two weeks planning, you'll barely meet expectations and even though you think you got it right, you're wrong. This one is the true test to the international relationship in Korea. It may sound crazy to you, but it's standard here. Even relationships are metric, it seems.

There are more, but I was fortunate enough to only face the wrath of the ones above. If you really care about her, then you'll pretend to care about these. Good luck, gentlemen.

(Photo is courtesy of the fine folks at quickmeme.com)